Grief in elders can be a complex situation to face, both the individuals experiencing grief and those around them. It is also a lot more common than people make it out to be. Everyone at some point in their lives, experiences grief, and the age that one experiences grief is often irrelevant.
Get into this article and find out more about the different stages of grief that an elderly individual experiences, and the ways through which one can overcome them.
Table of contents
Grief stands as a complex and wide-ranging emotional phenomenon that is associated on one hand with loss and on the other with uncountable feelings, thoughts, and physiological sensations. It is a response to grief that is felt in everyone’s mind due to drastic life changes. The reasons one goes through grief can vary, it could be the death of a loved one, a break up in a relationship, retirement or moving to another place, suddenly becoming sick, or losing independence.
Grief is neither a straightforward evolving experience nor a winding process in which universal feelings intertwine with the individual way of experiencing a person’s loss. In the process, the person is passing through cycles of extreme distress and moments of calmness. It comes in a wide variety of forms which are as follows but not limited to depression, anger, guilt, anxiety, confusion, loss/ numbness, and physical symptoms like fatigue, insomnia, loss of appetite, headaches, etc.
Many elderly people encounter distinct problems that are sources of intense anguish which detrimentally affect the way they grieve. As people grow older, they probably experience various losses, such as the death of close friends, relatives, neighbors, and, eventually, their health as well as cognitive abilities, independence, privacy, and communication. Unfortunately, this is a cumulative process that is fastened to the natural history of aging as well as the possibility for retired individuals to be isolated and lonely. Thus, the elderly frequently feel alone and get into depression more often.
In addition, old people tend to have fewer copies of the resources they need for coping with trauma, e.g. they rarely can count on the support of a social network, their financial situation is beyond their control, or limited access to health care services, which make their grief process even more severe. Further, seniors might learn much sooner of errors in decisions made in earlier life, or in their relationships, which in turn can trigger more grief and regret.
Between a wide range of emotions, elders will probably experience the 5 stages of grief.
Seniors, at the beginning, might find it difficult to accept what has happened to them as part of the process. They might start denial, which is a protective action to avoid intense feelings. These people tend to have a painting of the world by themselves, they avoid company and participation in various social activities or they take out the situation.
it is when seniors may feel annoyance, rage, and resentment. They will most likely vent their anger, either from within or from others, including themselves who feel responsible for the death, those who care for them, and even medical professionals and others.
They might be involved in the process of bargaining to get control back or as a way of making meaningful of the losses. They try to satisfy their spiritual needs, negotiate with higher powers, make promises, or might encourage having magical thoughts believing that they might reverse or soften their negative experience.
It will be the time when the tragedy hits in all its vigor that the elderly will plunge headlong into a sea of grief, despair, and hopelessness. They can get the sense of deep emptiness of life, loneliness, and longing for a person, an aspect of their routine or lifestyle.
Little by little, with help and reflection, seniors might finally get used to this, that is, losing a person. Gradually, they may learn to see this loss not as something that is a threat to their sense of identity but as a part of it. Healing is not removing tangling threads and starting over but acknowledging the existence of pain and persisting on a living.
Urge seniors to communicate their best and the negative strongly by using adequate tools, such as listening, reading, painting, or creating music. Give them a peaceful and neutral place where they can talk about their feelings or the things they recall.
Fight depression, loneliness, and a sense of being alone by creating chances for people to meet others who will bring sympathy, companionship, and mutual understanding.
Mention to seniors about making arrangements with specialist counselors or therapists who only work on grief and loss. Therapy is designed to give seniors personalized support, mental forms, cognitive strategies, and emotional life which are required to cope with the complex grief.
Urge seniors to concentrate on dealing with their health holistically not only over the physical, emotional, and mental aspects but also through activities like exercise, meditation, relaxation techniques, proper food diet, and enough sleep. Remind them to seek medical help if they experience anything physically problematic or health-related, which is caused by their loss.
Stress the importance of seniors involving themselves in endeavors that uplift them, keep them happy, and give them a feeling of purpose. This could be playing their instruments in the afternoon, doing their favorite work in the evening, and talking to their friends or families while watching the stars with their pets.
While grief is an inevitable part of the human experience, some steps can be taken to support seniors’ emotional well-being and resilience, potentially mitigating the impact of future losses:
Build strong social connections
Strengthen the existing social ties with old people by providing an avenue for recreation and interaction. In addition, links senior citizens with social activities, companions, community engagement, and many others. Extend your range of activities involving people to clubs, organizations, and peer support groups.
Foster in families, communities, and those who provide home care an ambiance of openness so that the elderly can recognize and accept that they are human and go ahead to discuss any issues that concern them.
Provide counseling, education, and referrals to families and seniors about grief loss, bereavement, and coping skills. Let the youth in your organization be able to read books and articles, participate in a series of workshops, and receive support services in this regard.
Promote the participation of seniors in discussions on advance directives and getting into planning decisions concerning medical care, dying preference, and funeral arrangements. One way you could go about this is by advising them to create advance directives, living wills, and health care proxies, in which they can express their wishes.
Give a direction to seniors to be motivated in their lives. Assist them on how to find the purpose and meaning of life that they have chosen for themselves through creativity, learning, personal growth, or contribution. Encourage them to pursue the activities and interests that will match their values, interests, and goals. Extract: Whether it is oldies, country music, punk rock, or classical symphonies, music can help us access memories and emotions that we might struggle to access in other ways.
Grief is something both purely private and universal that can make a significant impact on seniors’ lives. When we understand the specific difficulties and sensitivities encountered by older adults during the grieving phase and meet them with awareness, empathy, and necessary resources, we can equip them with the confidence, endurance, and a thriving new life outlook to go through the grief process.
The question arises as to whether the grief in the elderly could lead to severe complications for health.
Indeed, it is true that persistent or unresolved grief of the elderly may develop health problems like depression, anxiety, sleep disturbances, lowered immunity levels, and increased chances of diseases that tend to be chronic. Health surveillance is paramount and if seniors show signs of physical and mental unwellness, necessary support and interventions must be provided.
The duration of elder grief might vary widely from person to person, determined mostly by the nature of the loss, their coping abilities, and individual beliefs and belonging to a certain culture.
Traditional ideas, customs, and culture do play a significant role in how grief is understood, experienced, and handled among elderly adults.
An elderly person can deal with grief by having a good circle of people around them, consulting a counselor, and joining support groups.
